My Son Told Me His Smile Was Ugly
Raising kids in this world of unrealistic expectations.
Picture day was just a few days away and I was excited with outfits picked out, ready, and waiting. My oldest is in first grade this year and so this was old news; he knew the routine, except this year he surprised me the morning of.
“So make sure to smile big — the happiest smile!”
“Mom, how do you smile?”
“What do you mean? You smile all the time.”
“I know. But my smile is ugly. I look ugly when I smile.”
My heart literally broke. My younger son was at the breakfast table with us to and he heard it all. It got worse.
“Yeah. Me too. My smile doesn’t look nice.”
I was livid at the world. “Who told you this? Why do you think your smile is ugly? I love your smiles.”
We spent the next thirty minutes talking about how everyone smiles differently, how we are all unique, and how they each are so worthy of love and love themselves.
My boys are only 7 and 6. I wish I didn’t have to have this conversation so soon. I wasn’t expecting to already have it. What kind of world are we living in that “ugly” is just another word in a small child’s vocabulary?
Our world revolves around social media apps like Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Snapchat — all with the intention to better connect us to each other, but unfortunately, it also allows for the creation of unrealistic expectations to the little eyes in our lives.
Even other little kids who have become stars on YouTube film themselves running around the house and playing games or making crafts and they throw around things like “ugly” and “stupid”. It’s all so innocent, and yet not.
How do we help them? How do we protect these little hearts from this sometimes judgmental and ruthless world?
We can’t shut them out from the world, but we can make aware.
We can remind them that they are their own individual.
We can show them that we appreciate all kinds of beauty, and that they should too.
We can use our own words to build them up instead of tear them down.
We can teach them to build themselves and others up.
We can teach them that although the world can be cruel, grace for ourselves and others is needed and starts with us.
My sons ask me to practice smiling with them at least once a week, and I do… not because their smiles are ugly, but because when we sit there and smile together in the mirror, I’m able to reassure them that they’re amazing — all on their own. Their silly fake picture-day smiles turn into real ones and we take one small step up that ladder of self-confidence.
We live in an ever-changing world where technology connects us and allows us to reach people and places we weren’t able to before. This power of socialization is a blessing but also can be dangerous if we don’t equip our little ones with the confidence and beliefs they need to stay afloat.
“Your smile is perfect, because when you smile I know that you’re happy. It’s never wrong or ugly to be happy.”
